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lyrics

“Eartha” aka Chuck

COLOGNE CLONE!
COLOGNE CLONE!

HE WORKED AT J.C. PENNY'S,
HE USED TO WORK AT SEARS,
HE'S HOLDING COURT AT MACY'S
WITH A HUNDRED OTHER QUEERS.
TAKE THE ELEVATOR UP
TO ANY FRAGRANCE FLOOR,
HE'LL SPRAY YOU WITH INFINITY
OR SOMETHING FROM DIOR.
HE'LL OFFER YOU A SAMPLE
FROM THE PERRY ELLIS LINE,
VERSACE, HERMES,
AND EVEN CALVIN KLEIN.
YOU ONLY WENT TO BROWSE
AND NOW YOU SMELL
JUST LIKE A WHORE,
HE COVERS YOU WITH PASSION
AS YOU FIGHT TO FIND THE DOOR!

BEWARE THE COLOGNE CLONE
CIRCLE HIS COUNTER WITH CARE
BEWARE THE COLOGNE CLONE
HE WORKS ON COMMISSION
I SWEAR

PLEASE DON'T HOLD ME HOSTAGE
WITH THAT BOTTLE IN YOUR FIST,
DON'T BACK ME IN THE CORNER,
DON'T TRY AND SPRAY MY WRISTS.
DO YOU THINK I SMELL THAT BAD?
DO YOU THINK I'LL POUNCE,
ON A BRONZER MADE BY POLO
THAT RUNS NINETY BUCKS AN OUNCE?
ALREADY I'M A SMORGASBORD
OF SCENTS THAT MAKE ME GAG,
I DON'T NEED YOUR UMBRELLA
OR THE LEATHER SHAVING BAG.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO LEAD YOU ON.
I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW.
I CAN'T AFFORD THE LAGERFELD,
SO WILL YOU LET ME GO!

BEWARE THE COLOGNE CLONE,
CIRCLE HIS COUNTER WITH CARE.
BEWARE THE COLOGNE CLONE,
HE WORKS ON COMMISSION I SWEAR.
BEWARE THE COLOGNE CLONE,
SHOPPER YOU'D BETTER BEWARE,
IF HE SEES YOU-
YOU HAVEN'T A PRAYER!

TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME
ARA-MISS THING!

credits

from Sophisticated Twinkees, released December 11, 2016
Vocal: Chuck Sweeney
Back up vocals: Ricky Paul & Michael Ogborn

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all rights reserved

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Michael Ogborn New York, New York

This site is a platform for the work of American Musical Theatre Composer/playwright Michael Ogborn. Currently living in Philadelphia and working in New York City, Ogborn has had over 25 musicals and pantos produced
to date. New recordings are added regularly.

"Enjoy the variety and please visit my website at www.michaelogborn.com for archival photos and show information.Thank you very much!" ... more

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