From the Off Broadway musical: BOX OFFICE of the DAMNED.
Book, Music & Lyrics by Michael Ogborn

An Actress approaches the Box office to get some business done during her break. She is double checking her list of "comps" and warming up her voice at the same time. Throughout the song JIMMY remains deadpan.)

Actress:
TWO FOR TUESDAY-
FIVE FOR WEDNESDAY-
TWO FOR THURSDAY-
NINE FOR FRIDAY-
FIVE FOR SATURDAY-
THREE FOR SUNDAY MATINEE.
(Working her resonators)
Nay -- AY -- AYYYY --

TWO FOR TUESDAY-
FIVE FOR WEDNESDAY-
TWO FOR THURSDAY-
NINE FOR FRIDAY-
FIVE FOR SATURDAY-
THREE FOR SUNDAY MATINEE.
HEY!

(She sees JIMMY, leaps toward the window and drops her bag.)

THIS MUST BE THE BOX OFFICE!
HOW DID I KNOW?
I'M AN ACTRESS IN FROM OUT OF TOWN,
AND I'M IN THE SHOW!
FEELS GREAT TO BE WORKING --
SO GLAD TO BE CAST,
GOT A COUPLE DOZEN COMP REQUESTS,
LET'S TRY AND DO THIS FAST.

I'M REHEARSING IN THE STUDIO,
YOU'LL HEAR ME PASS BY,
WARMING UP MY VOCAL CHORDS,
OR JUST SAYING “HI"!
I ALWAYS MAKE A POINT
TO MEET THE PEOPLE UP HERE,
IT'S IMPORTANT TO GET CLOSER
TO THE FOLKS IN MY CAREER.

YOU MAY HAVE SEEN ME ON "CASTLE",
I WORKED TWO DAYS AS A WHORE.
I WAS A NURSE ON “LAW AND ORDER"
WHO HELD OPEN THE DOOR.
I DID STOCK IN OKLAHOMA,
YES, THE SHOW AND THE STATE,
I WAS THE SECOND “SWING DREAM LAURIE”
AND THE COSTUMES WERE GREAT!

I'VE GOT ALL THESE PEOPLE COMING
NINETEEN NIGHTS IN A ROW.
EVERYONE CAN BREATHE AGAIN
CAUSE I'M IN A SHOW!
I'VE GOT CASTING AGENTS,
FAMILY AND FRIENDS ON THE SCENE",
TELLING ME IF THERE'S AN OZ
I'LL SOON BE PAINTED GREEN!

NOT THAT THAT'S THE ONLY SHOW-
IT'S ONLY THE BEST!
IF I GET TO TOUR IN WICKED
THEN TO HELL WITH THE REST.
BUT THERE’S BROADWAY DISNEY CRUISES,
WHICH I ALSO ADORE,
AND IF THEY CAN GUARANTEE ME WORK,
I MIGHT GIVE UP THE TOUR.

READ MY RESUME
IF YOU THINK THAT I'M FOOLIN'
I'VE DONE THEATRE ALL MY LIFE
LEARNED IT ALL WITHOUT SCHOOLIN'
I HAVE EVERY CAST RECORDING
YOU WOULD DIE FOR THE SELECTION.
I REPRODUCE CD'S,
SO TO START YOUR OWN COLLECTION!

LET ME ORDER ALL THESE TICKETS,
THEN I REALLY MUST GO.
EVERY MINUTE COUNTS
WHEN YOU'RE REHEARSING A SHOW.
MY LIST IS QUITE EXTENSIVE,
SOME DATES MAY BE CHANGED.
PEOPLE IN FROM OUT-OF-TOWN
LIKE TICKETS PRE-ARRANGED.

SO I NEED --
TWO FOR TUESDAY-
SIX FOR WEDNESDAY-
NINE FOR THURSDAY-
TWO FOR FRIDAY-
TEN FOR SATURDAY-
FIVE FOR SUNDAY MATINEE.

Ohhh, wait—sorry, made a mistake. Make that-

TWO FOR TUESDAY-
FIVE FOR WEDNESDAY-
TWO FOR THURSDAY-
NINE FOR FRIDAY-
FIVE FOR SATURDAY-
THREE FOR SUNDAY MAT --

Wait, that’s still wrong. Some of my cousins are coming on Tuesday, some on-

Jimmy:
Our policy regarding actors' comp. tickets is that you give your requests to the company manager. The company manager places that order with the Box Office Supervisor. This way all actors comp tickets can be set aside at the same time.

Actress:
Oh, okay—great! I guess I'll do that then. But then I won't get to know the Box Office staff.

Clerks:
RIGHT!

Actress:
WELL, I WON'T BE A STRANGER,
YOU BET I'LL LET YOU KNOW,
HOW EVERYTHING IS GETTIN' ON
WITH ME AND THE SHOW.
TODAY IT'S JUST A READ-THROUGH.
TOMORROW WE BLOCK.
IT'S REALLY SO PROFESSIONAL,
NOT AT ALL LIKE STOCK.
CAUSE WHEN I DID "MY FAIR LADY"
THE WHOLE CAST WAS SO BEAT,
WE ONLY HAD A WEEK TO GET
THAT DOG ON ITS FEET.
NO ONE KNEW THE MUSIC,
IT WAS TOO LATE TO QUIT.
SO I PUT ON THE RECORD
AND WE MOUTHED THE WORDS TO IT!
(Just dreadful!)
I COULD KEEP YOU HERE FOR HOURS,
BUT I'M NEEDED BELOW.
THE NEXT TIME THAT YOU SEE ME
YOU'LL SAY "SHE'S IN THE SHOW!"
YOU'VE ALL BEEN VERY HELPFUL,
BUT I GOTTA GO.
I LEAVE YOU WITH MY PHOTOGRAPH,
LET'S GO ON WITH THE SHOW!

(She quickly autographs a resume/headshot and sashays off.BLACKOUT.)